Pardon me while I get a little nostalgic today...
In an effort to date some pictures (well, a lot of pictures) that I had been too lazy to date over the years, I dragged out my journals to see if I could figure out dates for certain pictures were taken and so forth and so on.
This morning I was doing the year 2002.
I was told I had colon cancer. As I read all those journal entries it just brings back all the pain, uncertainty and the anger. Man, I was one angry dude. How dare this happen to me!!!!
So, I have read through all the pages about my prep for the surgery and that gallon of 'go lightly' that I had to drink the night before. Of the brain fog and weakness for weeks and then came the chemo!
All this while also dealing with a husband in the early stages of Alzheimers. I'm not telling you this for any reason other than to let you know that by the grace of God and my own anger and strength that I found out you can pretty much deal with anything and everything.
And, as I turn the pages and read what I had written down for 2002, I came to the entry for June 9th.
This is what I had written:
I'm enjoying every moment of every day. I know that what I've gone through and am going through has been worth it to have gained the heightened sense of awareness, of being alive, of making new levels of relationships with everyone. The rest of my life will be so magnified and enhanced.
It's Sunday morning. I'm up already before 7 and have peeked out at the bright, sunny, cool morning. I'm going to church this morning. That feels good!
And, then this came to my mind and I wrote it down, a sort of take on the "Now I lay me down prayer".
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray, Dear Lord, my hand to take
and guide me to the break of day
So I can love and live and pray
And when the sun shall set once more,
The darkness overcome the light,
I pray, Dear Lord, you'll take my hand
And guide me with your wonderous might.
For those of you who are suffering pain, who are down in heart, mind, body and soul.... I tell you that with God's love and grace you can soar above it all and overcome.
In an effort to date some pictures (well, a lot of pictures) that I had been too lazy to date over the years, I dragged out my journals to see if I could figure out dates for certain pictures were taken and so forth and so on.
This morning I was doing the year 2002.
I was told I had colon cancer. As I read all those journal entries it just brings back all the pain, uncertainty and the anger. Man, I was one angry dude. How dare this happen to me!!!!
So, I have read through all the pages about my prep for the surgery and that gallon of 'go lightly' that I had to drink the night before. Of the brain fog and weakness for weeks and then came the chemo!
All this while also dealing with a husband in the early stages of Alzheimers. I'm not telling you this for any reason other than to let you know that by the grace of God and my own anger and strength that I found out you can pretty much deal with anything and everything.
And, as I turn the pages and read what I had written down for 2002, I came to the entry for June 9th.
This is what I had written:
I'm enjoying every moment of every day. I know that what I've gone through and am going through has been worth it to have gained the heightened sense of awareness, of being alive, of making new levels of relationships with everyone. The rest of my life will be so magnified and enhanced.
It's Sunday morning. I'm up already before 7 and have peeked out at the bright, sunny, cool morning. I'm going to church this morning. That feels good!
And, then this came to my mind and I wrote it down, a sort of take on the "Now I lay me down prayer".
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray, Dear Lord, my hand to take
and guide me to the break of day
So I can love and live and pray
And when the sun shall set once more,
The darkness overcome the light,
I pray, Dear Lord, you'll take my hand
And guide me with your wonderous might.
For those of you who are suffering pain, who are down in heart, mind, body and soul.... I tell you that with God's love and grace you can soar above it all and overcome.
I am so with you regarding your final sentence Latane.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we feel we will never be able to overcome things that try to knock us down, give us pain, make us suffer, even try to finish us off! Time can heal so much as long as one remains positive and listens to what only we know our bodies are fighting. Then we can, often with the help of modern medicine, great doctors, and the belief that God has more for us to do, pick ourselves up and soldier on. Each day is so precious.
I too was diagnosed with colon cancer long ago (1987) and survived major surgery and radiation. Two years later a recurrence required more radiation and chemo. . . . . and a lot of prayers! Here, 32 years later, we have another beautiful day to enjoy, and if I could reach that far, I would give you real big hug.
Anyway, here's a virtual one - have a lovely day Latane.
Mary X
Love the way you've connected the dots between your prep colon cancer surgery emotions and the woman you are today. We do, indeed, gain strength from over-coming seemingly impossible. Wonderful post.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, others will take a lot from this inspirational post, Latane. I so admire your positive attitude.
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful, wonderful post! I absolutely love your prayer...please copy it down for me and send it to me!
ReplyDeleteYou are truly an inspiration. This is a beautifully written post of strength and God's grace. I am following your blog also.
ReplyDelete