Monday, May 10, 2021

Jalepenos for Mother's Day


This is funny! 

I am at my son's in Alabama so one of my daughters says for me to look for a delivery around noon on Mother's Day. 

I expected flowers and sure enough there was a dozen beautiful roses

More gifts? I open the next bag. It's a German Chocolate Cake! my favorite.... and another bag held two boxes of candy. One was Godiva and the other was Lindtl asst. pralines

This is just too much! But, wait, there is another bag.

I peer down in the plastic and see large dark green jalepenos ... seven of them. What the dickens?

I call my daughter to thank her for all the goodies, including the jalepenos

She didn't order any jalepenos. Not for Mother's Day, for gosh sakes, 

Now, we are wondering what poor soul is missing 7 jalepenos in an order they placed (and it got put in hers instead)

And, we have laughed and laughed at the SURPRISE gift. I hope I get a goofy surprise like that every Mother's Day. Laughter is great for your soul. 

Friday, May 7, 2021

Decoration Day in the Old South

 Cemeteries in the south have a 'Decoration Day', held not always on the same Sunday. The cemetery where my Mom and Dad are buried, (also my brother, infant son and lots of relatives) chose the 2nd Sunday in May for the day to decorate the graves. 

In years past, Decoration Day was a big deal, probably the most anticipated day all year except for Christmas. You bought new clothes, you got all dressed up, everyone was at the cemetery. Church would be held in the morning, baskets full of fried chicken, green beans, potato salad, chicken dumplings, etc, etc, etc. was spread out on a large table under the trees and you just helped yourself. The afternoon was spent with singing hymns. It was a grand time.

Now, all of that is gone except for the people who go (whenever they have time), place flowers on the graves and leave. A part of the old South is gone.

My son and I bought flowers and on Wednesday we drove from his home about 60 miles from the cemetery to where our loved ones are buried. We decorated the tombs, walked around a bit, looking at old tombs, being surprised at brand new graves. 

I just got this huge lump in my middle. I now live nearly 800 miles away. I am getting on up there in age. This would probably be the last trip I could make to pay my respects. My Dad was killed by lightning just before I was born. I never knew him but the ache of loss has always been with me. My Mom, the woman who struggled during the depression to make sure me and my older sister had a good life. My baby son, born into this world with problems he could not overcome. They were all here.. in this ground, their tombs marking the sites. I wouldn't see that again... It was an emotional moment for me.  

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Cinco de Mayo Celebration

 First of all, let me thank you for all the sweet and understanding words on my previous post about my Grandson's autism and the trials they go through. 

Owen had been transitioned into a residential home since his 21st birthday. But, then Covid hit and first place to be totally shut down was the town of New Rochelle, New York due to the high levels of covid affected people. His house was completely closed and he came home to stay with the family during the pandemic. He has increasingly gotten worse, at times unmanageable and seemingly no outside help available. He's 6'5" tall so he can be more than a handful.

Things are moving slowly toward Susan having maybe a couple/three hours twice or three times a week now. So, there's a wee, wee light at the end of the tunnel but the solution, of course, is to find another residential home. 

Now on another note. 

My sister is 96, living in a senior independent apartment where they do assist them with activities and prepare their meals. They keep those seniors busy. Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo and they had a celebration. Here's a picture of my sister.


Here is my son and I having a marguerita, salsa and chips out on his deck to celebrate.

Sunday, May 2, 2021

The Real Struggles of Autism

 Today is my youngest daughter's birthday. I haven't gotten to be with her for a year and a half, mostly because of Covid but also, because she is going through the most trying time of her life right now. Her middle son, Owen, was diagnosed with Autism at 18 months. He is now 27 years old. As the years progressed so did his behaviors. 

Noone, not even those who are close to them, know the struggles she and the entire family faces 27/7. Even going to the grocers or keeping a doctors appt is a huge deal. I was very taken by a post she did on Instragram and would like to share it with you. It wasn't done for pity or people to say 'oh, you poor thing' but to bring awareness to Autism.

There are so many spectrums of Autism and so many levels of behavior. Mostly in the news one hears about the kid who is autistic who ends up going to college. Or even gets a job, has a career. The success stories. There are no success stories in the Murray household. Success, to them, is one or two hours where things are fairly quiet. 

So, here's Susans post:

Today marks the last day of April’s Autism Awareness Month so I thought I’d share with you what most people experience with autism when they see their friends/neighbors out and about with their child who has autism. They often see the more calm moments that led us to actually be in public. I know for us we have had the struggle of a lifetime this past year and it’s had its dramatic ups and downs. I post pictures of Owen smiling. I’m not posting about the behavioral issues, the physical struggles, the ER visits that lead nowhere. The self injurious behaviors that are new... the holes in our walls that we have had to repair from those unimaginable moments. Everyone has been stressed beyond reasonable limits daily just to try to hold on to wherever normalcy they can. My other children have stopped their needs for his & done work & homework through severe times.
Life has focused almost entirely on Owen and getting him more stable and finding a new best support & home again. With well trained staff. I share this not for sympathy but Awareness. Autism awareness is more than a blue puzzle piece or light... it’s about the reality of everyone’s experience with autism. Owen & so many others need care 24/7.... there aren’t off times. This is the reality for so many families out there but you don’t realize it unless you live it. I’m not sure what lies ahead right now...I pray a lot for him. To save him from his struggles. My heart breaks a thousand times a day. Guess it always will. This awareness month has come & gone. So much is needed still... services, training, understanding, acceptance....the list is far too long. Im so proud of my children for stepping up in ways they should have never had to!! I am so proud of Owen for doing the best that he can in these trying times. He has had it harder than the rest of us and I hope he knows we will do whatever we can to make his life the best we can!!
I’m forever grateful for my family and my sweet supportive friends. You all have been my rays of hope and sunshine. I count my blessings every single day.

I just ask that you please keep this family is your prayers. Like Susan said, my heart breaks a thousand times a day. 

A Robin

“If I can stop one heart from breaking

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.”
                         ― Emily Dickinson