I warn you... this is gonna be lengthy.
I seem to be confused about life right now. In one week I will have my 89th birthday. Life is changing so rapidly and with change comes challenges.
I am in good health, my mind is good but I don't know the woman I am during certain periods of time.
Take Christmas for example. I used to love Christmas but now the holidays brings anxiety and unrest within me. I don't know what is happening nor how to fix it. I thought perhaps you, my dear friends here on Blogger, might help me with my puzzle.
I seem to get little joy out of Christmas. I dread having to chose what to get everyone (my children, grands and great-grands number 24 now) That's a lot to have to figure out. Mostly I give gift cards. The great-grands get money but I love giving my CHILDREN a real gift.
I no longer cook so there isn't that chore to tire me. But this year the spirit of Christmas never landed at my door. I did not play Christmas music. I did not watch any tv shows geared to the season. It seemed like I couldn't wait until all the hullabaloo was over and done with. I guess you could call me 'Mrs. Scrooge'.
I've tried to figure this out.
1. Are my expectations set too high?
2. Am I expecting the holidays to be wild and exciting like when my children were small?
3. Have I become a crotchety old lady? Where did my love of laughter and fun go?
4. Are there too many demands put on my aging body and mind?
5. Is my schedule all askew? I know I have a clearer mind and attitude when I stick to my schedule?
Are others that are in the older realm of life, experiencing these same feelings? And, what do I do about it!!
I don't want to dread Christmas! I have always loved it.