In January it will be 11 years since I lost my sweet, wonderful husband.
I'd cared for him for years. Alzheimers has a way of going on and on and on. But, now it was Jan 3, 2011 and he lay dying in a nursing home. The staff had called in the family and most of us were gathered around his bed.
I don't know if my husband was aware he was going to meet the Lord in a few minutes but he was aware that his family was there. He focused his eyes on me. We had celebrated our 60 years of marriage just the month before and even though those last few years he hadn't known me most of the time, I realized that he knew who I was.
I stood by his bed, so filled with grief. And, he reached his arms up to hug me just one more time. I bent down and held him tight. He soon breathed his last breath.
Knowing that this day was coming, I had made a lot of preparations of how things should be handled. But, I did not prepare for these last moments. It's something to think about just the same as where the service will be held, the final resting place and even what flowers you'd want in the casket spray. I just never thought of this... this final saying goodbye. Maybe it was too painful to think about.
But, I have a huge regret!! I regret not softly singing (and hoping the family would join in) one of his favorite songs, 'Amazing Grace'. What a comfort that might have been to him and what a send off. But, I just wasn't prepared and did not think of it.
People don't like to think of death. They made no preparations, They don't discuss it. But, death is as sure as birth. It needs to be included in your life planning!
I agree with you. What a lovely memory. Thank you for sharing. You have a wonderful day, hugs, Edna B.
ReplyDeleteA similar regret sometimes haunts me. Your story is so filled with love. How good that your Beloved recognized you and hugged you.
ReplyDeleteI think the send off you had was perfect. Lovely that he knew you just before he left you for good.
ReplyDeleteThat sounded like a perfect way to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteYour sharing of your dear husband's passing in such detail is brave - and you surely did the best for him, caring for him all those years, being there and holding him at the end. . . . . . . . . and you must have no regrets that you didn't sing. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteI dread the thought of having to do similar and often these days we talk about who will 'go first' and what we will need to do, however we still haven't really made proper plans - it's so darned hard!!!!!
Hugs, Mary
I think you did the perfect thing and that hug was just right. That he left in your arms had to be of great comfort to him and I hope to you.
ReplyDeleteawwww, this must have been difficult for you to share here with us!! your words have reminded me to be prepared. i hope the hubs and i are far from the finish line, but you never know!!
ReplyDeleteyou were such a handsome couple, back in the day and in that last picture!! i'm sure his last moments were perfect, just having you there with him!! no regrets!!
So true, we all need to plan for that time for it is coming. I attended a funeral this week of a friend/co-worker who had suffered with Alzheimer's for years. I know you husband knew you were there and that sweet hug felt good to you both, I am sure. Amazing Grace, my favorite! Sending HUGS and PRAYERS your way.
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