I warn you... this is gonna be lengthy.
I seem to be confused about life right now. In one week I will have my 89th birthday. Life is changing so rapidly and with change comes challenges.
I am in good health, my mind is good but I don't know the woman I am during certain periods of time.
Take Christmas for example. I used to love Christmas but now the holidays brings anxiety and unrest within me. I don't know what is happening nor how to fix it. I thought perhaps you, my dear friends here on Blogger, might help me with my puzzle.
I seem to get little joy out of Christmas. I dread having to chose what to get everyone (my children, grands and great-grands number 24 now) That's a lot to have to figure out. Mostly I give gift cards. The great-grands get money but I love giving my CHILDREN a real gift.
I no longer cook so there isn't that chore to tire me. But this year the spirit of Christmas never landed at my door. I did not play Christmas music. I did not watch any tv shows geared to the season. It seemed like I couldn't wait until all the hullabaloo was over and done with. I guess you could call me 'Mrs. Scrooge'.
I've tried to figure this out.
1. Are my expectations set too high?
2. Am I expecting the holidays to be wild and exciting like when my children were small?
3. Have I become a crotchety old lady? Where did my love of laughter and fun go?
4. Are there too many demands put on my aging body and mind?
5. Is my schedule all askew? I know I have a clearer mind and attitude when I stick to my schedule?
Are others that are in the older realm of life, experiencing these same feelings? And, what do I do about it!!
I don't want to dread Christmas! I have always loved it.
I've always had trouble over Christmas. As you say, things have changed. I think we've lived so many holiday seasons, our best, with kids, is behind us! I have memories and the present doesn't live up to those expectations.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling down, we haven't seen our kids for Christmas, yet. They have busy lives and in-laws.
Anyway, happy birthday, and let's give ourselves permission to relax, and live in the moment. That is what I think! Do what you feel like!
Latane, I think what you're experiencing is due to age... somewhat anyhow... as having too much to do (gift giving, expectations, etc.) becomes a bit overwhelming. Losing some of the 'joy/magic' of Christmas could be age too as when our kids or grandkids are around we can remember the 'magic' of it all... but if alone (or not around loved ones), we tend to forget. I don't think it's something to worry about, but perhaps you need to pamper yourself a bit... do little things that bring you joy (whatever that may be - have coffee with a friend, send a gift, call someone?)
ReplyDeleteI have periods of sadness over Christmas also. It's so different when there aren't children in the house. My only child is grown and lives on the opposite side of the country, so we don't celebrate until the new year when the fares are less expensive. I was lucky to have many wonderful Christmases in my past with people who are no longer here, and I miss them most at this time of year. Not to mention that it's dark at 4:15. So I accept that I will not always feel like "it's the most wonderful time of the year." The only person I buy actual gifts for is my daughter. Shipping is so expensive, I buy gift cards that can be sent with a card. Do small things that make you feel happy or content, which may or may not be the traditional things associated with Christmas. And now that it's almost over, have a happy birthday and a happy new year!
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I lost my first comment. Reading the previous comments I'm thinking that we really do have expectations that set us up for disappointment. Thinking back to the wonderful years when the kids were young and happy and Christmas day as well as Boxing Day were full of family fun. That has , for the most part, changed.
ReplyDeleteI need to think about how I myself want to celebrate Christmas and not try to live up to some idea from the past. I'm not taking the tree down just yet. It's a spot of pretty lights in the gloomy early evenings.
So, no, you have definitely not turned into a crotchety old lady. You're ten years (plus) older than I am and when I read what you're up to I feel encouraged that if I'm still around at 88 (or 89), God willing, I'll still be as active and with it as you are. Happy New Year, Granny Marigold
I didn't know you were on Instagram! I just requested to follow you. :) I'm listed as andercin. I gasped when I read how old you are, I would have never guessed! I don't know why you're feeling the way you are about Christmas but I agree with everyone else who has commented! I pray joy returns to your heart and life soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you for giving voice to what I'm feeling this year, Latane. It's more than just our family celebration having to be postponed; for some reason (???) I find all the music and television specials not just tiresome, but a little off-putting. Hopefully my spirits will buoy after the first of the year.
ReplyDeleteThis may sound simple but I concentrate on the real reason for Christmas, the birth of Jesus. When I think of the gift he has given us, I can't help but be joyful.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to Christmas expectations and energy changing when we age. I have moments of sadness at Christmas because my husband died in 2016. But the joy always shines out. Christmas eve church with my sons brings us a sense of joy and peace. I think having 24 family members could be overwhelming for anyone and would be for me. This is a time of growing in my love for Jesus which lifts my spirits from those sad moments. I hope the New Year is a good one for you.
ReplyDeleteI believe the season drags on way too long, the feeling of kindness no longer emanates from the public when you go out, people decorate too soon and expectations are too high. There's a feeling that permeates media that everyone else is having a wonderful holiday on every level and somehow our personal holiday never matches what we suppose others are experiencing. I really feel like we set ourselves up for disappointment. I'm a lot younger than you and admire how active and positive you are! My advice is to give yourself a break, when all is said and done, it's really just another day.
ReplyDeleteThe best time of year…the true meaning…love and kindness…as we age, we become tired…so only what you can…think of your loved ones picking out special gifts they want with gift cards and cash…happy new year…I enjoy your blog…I am also thankful for,little things…
ReplyDeleteI think as we age, I was 80 on December 20th, things can overwhelm us and we like to wind down and relax more. Everywhere seems hectic and people around us seem to be rushing around, What for? same place we'll all be, even going at a slower pace. Sometimes we need to take stock of what we've got, to relax and enjoy the moment quietly. I know a whole lot of stuff isn't important to me these days and I'm happy letting things go by me, they are no longer my priorities.
ReplyDeleteHow very honest and open you are about this season, Latane. I have only 12 to shop for and that can overwhelm me, but I would not have it any other way. Twenty-four blessings you have! I like what Happyone says, keeping our eyes on the reason for celebrating makes a difference. Where would we be without The Lord? Your precious kids can help you with the fine particulars. Sometimes, I have to ask for help. Aging is definitely not for wimps...so many challenges, but you have a wonderful joie de vivre that makes me want to be more like you. Many blessings in 2023.
ReplyDeleteI truthfully enjoyed the Christmas season more, when I lived in England. You see we wait all year long for that "special" Christmas dinner, and family gatherings, but here stateside when you have celebrated the family dinner and get-togethers just one month earlier it takes the shine off the excitement. For ladies, it is so much work, I try and do my shopping online it helps. Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year dear friend.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
~Jo
Putting on Christmas music, or any kind of relaxing music, always helps me when I feel a little down. I love taking lots of photos and if stressed I tend to take many, even if it's just around the house! A change of scenery, which I know is impossible when the weather is bad. Losing myself in a feel-good book helps too and being on here with all my blogging friends, most definitely. I don't think we can find a more sincere and kinder group of people who will understand how we're feeling. I'm glad you put how you are feeling into words and it looks like there are a lot of helpers. I don't have a lot of good advice I guess, but I do wish you many blessings and a return to being brighter and happier real soon. Wishing you a Very Happy and Healthy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI've had Christmases like what you describe and I was younger. I was depressed, going through a divorce, healing from a surgery or grieving. This year was the first one where I felt great and truly enjoyed the season. It happens - young or old. I will say, it will never be like it was when I was a kid with my parents - they made Christmas like magic - and I tried to do the same for mine.
ReplyDeleteI wish you a wonderful New Year -
Happy New year on January 1, 2023...Best wishes and prayers...
ReplyDeleteIt's just age, my friend... that's what I think! I struggle to get in the spirit but manage to dig deep and make it through. One of my big problems with the Christmas Spirit is looking back, losing three older Siblings in 5 months sucked the life out of me. I just shake my head sometimes to clear the funk, just keep on keepin' on. Sending HUGS and PRAYERS your way!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Latane, for your honesty in expressing what so many of us have come to feel about the entire Christmas holiday season. While I honestly don’t know if my childhood holidays were happier times because I can’t recall every event, it was good to celebrate with my sibling and parents. My late mother passed away a few days before Christmas and even though it’s been 7 years, that memory always dims Christmas for me, now. This year, we did celebrate with the grands and their parents in RI and visited some of my husband’s family in CT, which helped lift my spirits.
ReplyDeleteIt seems many others have similar feelings of disconnect, so you are not alone. Congrats and happy 🎂and I hope 2023 will be a happy and healthy year for us all.
I've had similar feelings this year and the first step for me to deal with it is admitting that things aren't what they were. I had lunch with two dear friends and we talked about how difficult a season this was. We were all reminded of so much loss. I think this is especially true for me, as after the last two years I had such high expectations for celebration. You are so not alone.
ReplyDeleteEveryone was so kind and had such great advice. Don't do too much, Mom. Just let everyone do for you, and sit back and enjoy it. We all love you so much!
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