The Golden Bachelor

I haven't watched The Bachelor in years. Liked it to begin with but it got so silly, so fake and I just didn't have time or the energy to sit through such junk. Those young folks were really acting so inmature. 

And, then I see where they are actually going to have a MATURE bachelor and my ears perk up. About time that television recognizes that we older folks have a life, too. 

And, he's good looking!  He is 72 but at that age, I am old enough to be his Mama!! Be still, my fluttering heart!💓

                           

I missed the first segment but caught the second show and I am afraid I am hooked. At least for now... we'll see where it goes. 

It seems that life in general concentrates on youth and delegates us older ones to the corner of life's room, in the shadows, out of the way. About the only commericials geared for the seniors are ones about Depends. ha ha. 

I think we ought to have a revolt... all us seniors gang up together and show this world what we are made of! You with me??

 

Finding My Purpose As a Widow

 I'm a Blogger! Have been since 2007 and I enjoy it so much I can't imagine not doing it. 

Early on, I blogged/documented 'our journey through alzheimers'. It was a release for me as I was, at the time, caregiver for my husband who had Alzheimers. It served as a support group and we caregivers all went though our journeys together. I made some really good friends and had wonderful support. 

On our 60th wedding anniversary, a month before he passed away

After he passed away, I changed the name of the blog to Living On Main Street, 'cause I posted about what kind of life I was trying to live as a widow on Main Street. 

Those first years of grief I was one lost soul. I could not figure out who I was, what I was supposed to be doing, what my future held. But, I was determined to not waste one single moment being bitter, lazy or disinterested in life. 

And, first thing you know, people were telling me how much I inspired them with my determination, my attitude, the way I looked at things. So, I started a new blog Accidently Aging in an effort to share with others some words of encouragement, some hope, some fun. But, I get so off track and I'll have first one theme going, then another. I told you in my last post, consistency is not my main suit. 

The other day I picked up one of my notebooks and flipped through it. On it's pages I had been writing my thoughts on different subjects, most about growing older. So, I thought (there that hair-brain idea thing goes again) that from time to time I would share my thoughts with you. I sure hope it encourages someone who needs lifting up. Who needs someone who understands. 

I am a writer, a story-teller, a keeper of family history. I think that I forget that sometimes. I have a lot of stories to share, a lot of experiences, too. And, a lot of wisdom gleaned from 88 years of experiences, mistakes, and learning that I have had. Some people like to just scan through blog sites looking at pictures. Some like stories. I need to post what's in my heart, not what I think someone else wants me to, or to follow a trend. 

It's still going to be a hodge-podge of ideas, but I hope to in-corporate more of my feelings about this aging process we all are going through. Hope you are along for the ride. 

My 'Rocking Chair' Time Has Come

When I had a very busy life I would wonder when my time would come that I could be like an 'old grandma' and sit in my rocking chair with not a care in the world. Even into my eighties I still had so much going on that the question was never far from my mind. 

The Pandemic hit and I couldn't do any outside activities but I was busy getting ready for the publisher a revision of a book I had already published 30 years ago. So, I still wondered about that rocking chair.

Yesterday morning I got up and looked around. There was nothing to do! Well, not anything that HAD to be done. 

                                         So, what did I do all day?

I watched tv, finished a book I was reading, fixed myself stuff to eat and at the end of the day I went to bed.

That was the strangest feeling! I made it.... I finally have my time to not worry about scheduling, finishing projects, doing a darn thing.  Oh, and by the way, while I was watching tv, I was sitting in my recliner and guess what... it's rocks. 

       So, there I was that little old grandma sitting in my rocking chair.                            I wonder how long the euphoria will last! 

Finding Peace Within Yourself.

 I've been in my apartment for over 6 years now. I can't believe it! Seems like yesterday that I moved in, all excited to be in a place all my own. Losing a spouse is devastating and then you are wandering around wondering what to do with the rest of your life. A change is good. It sets your feet on a different path. 

One of the things I have loved is being on the 3rd floor. I feel safe up here and the view is fantastic. I go out on my balcony late in the evening and sit, just soaking in the solitude, the peace, the feeling of just being. 

And, I have my little birds to entertain me. I bet they wondered where in the world their feed went. I had to remove everything off the balcony for the power-washing and that meant their feeder, too. But, they are slowly coming back. 

Sometimes making decisions is hard. But, you know, you just might miss out of the best part of your life if you don't try. 

An Apple A Day

I don't eat as much as I used to...

Guess it's old age or something.

But, last night I just wasn't hungry but I knew I'd wake up in the middle of the night to go pee and I would be starving.

Dau. Shirley had brought me three apples. I'd eaten one. The other two had laid there waiting and waiting but I am not much of an apple eater. But, I didn't want them to go to waste, either. There is something about being a Depression Child that makes you want to use EVERYTHING.

I've been trying some new recipes since I'm stuck indoors and one of those recipes would go just right with those apples.

                      There's just one of me so I halved the recipe and ate one apple.

Just in case you want to try it.

My Hum is Going Dead

                                              I have a HUM.

                 Not what you think. It's the Verizon version of On Star.

Durnist thing. My son gets my alerts. He's all the way in Alabama and when I had my little rear-end mishap he knew it almost before I did!! 😇

And, my Hum has been sending me messages that my battery is low. First it was the car battery. Next it was the Hum battery.

Okay, I know I need to drive my car! Poor thing just sits there and even if I do take it out anywhere it's only for a couple blocks or so. No wonder the battery thinks I don't want it to work anymore.

When I moved into my apartment I was so excited that EVERYTHING was sooooo handy.

My dr. is 1 and 1/2 blocks away. Hospital 2 blocks, grocery 3 blocks. I don't get that engine going good until I am back home again.

So, Sunday I took her for a little spin! Just me and her. Out on the open road, zipping along enjoying the sunshine. (and almost no traffic).

The weather was chilly but sunny so I drove up Rt. 10 for several miles and then cut through the countryside to go by the cemetery where hubby is buried. And, back home again.

That durn Hum battery is still low. I can't check my car battery but I guess I will know if I get a message saying. "ALERT.... Your car battery is low" anytime soon.

Reflections

On December 10th, 1950 my sweetheart and I were married. So, yesterday would have been our 69th wedding anniversary.

In another month I will be having another anniversary. This one not a happy one. It will mark 9 years since his passing.

I know that some of you are widows. And, you know what I am talking about. The pain does get a little less but it never goes away. As I posted a picture of us on facebook yesterday, I started to cry. Crying is good. It releases all those buried emotions, the ones you keep shoving back down deep inside. It cleanses the soul.

All I have are memories now. And, of course, my kiddos. Grown now... dang, most of them are getting old. Well, old like I used to think people of 50 or 60 was! Oh, wait a minute... all my kids are in their 60s now, no 50s. Not so much now as I am half way through my 80s. And, I don't consider myself old. Well, at least some days.

I never thought I'd be left alone at the end of my life. I always thought that we'd be like the picture below, two old people sitting on our porch just enjoying being together. And, yes, there would be flowers. Elbert got me a few florist flowers over the years but what I cherish and remember most is that, as he would stroll over our farm early in the spring, he'd often bring me one tiny little bluette blossom held so gingerly between his fingers. I'd find my thimble and put a little water in it and place it on my kitchen window sill. And, once he handed me a dried, curled up leaf... nestled inside was a wild violet that he had dug up down in the woods. Those things I remember.

If I had one piece of advice to all you who are lucky enough to still have your sweethearts with you, it would be "Enjoy every day. Enjoy the little things. And, be very careful about what you pick to argue over. Some things are so petty and can do so much damage. Love one another and show it."

New Developments

When you lose a spouse, life is never the same. It's the most devastating thing ever, losing that companion. Then you wonder what to do next, what your role is, who you are now. 

When my husband of 60 years died in 2011 I really struggled with what to do with living my life by myself. 

 I lived in a big, old 2 story house, way too big, too hard to maintain, in a small town with little to do. I was smart. I didn't jump right into making changes. It was 4 years before I finally found this adorable apartment in a 55+ senior complex. 

Those of you who have followed me for a long time know the story so I don't mean to bore you. I just have some 'gossip' to share and I felt it needed a lead-in. 

There was a manager (whom we loved) and an assistant manager (whom many people couldn't stand). Guess it's that way in a lot of places. Back a year ago the complex was sold to a new company and we lost our manager! Boy, were we sad. And, I am sure many asked 'why not the assistant manager. That would have been better'. But, we don't get to pick and choose. 

We had hopes of some changes being made but things seemed to get worse. Then, yesterday I learned that the assistant had been fired. And, the new manager was also leaving. Her choice. 

We are getting new staff and I can't wait to see what happens. I will be sure to let you know when I know something. 

Life In The Fast Lane at Age 85

Living in a 55+ apartment complex has been quite a learning experience for me. My friend S says I should write a book. I tell her I am busy writing another kind of book, that she should do it. And, we laugh about it and neither one of us would do it. We are scared of getting into trouble.

There was the woman who cooked food and took orders from the other residents although we aren't supposed to have solicitors. But, she's no longer living here, seems she took a dislike to another person and started screaming at her every time she laid eyes on her. 

And, there was the gentleman who was cleaning his gun and ... well, he had to move, too.

There's the rules that we are supposed to abide by. Seems they are just for some people. Others get away with breaking them. 

For the time Leslie lived we were quite an item. Him on one end of the building, me three floors up at the other end but we'd get caught sneaking out of each other's apartments and boy, would we get teased. And, of course, there was talk.

Now, there's another couple who has replaced us.. On again, off again and all of a sudden they are married. Seems she wanted things legal. And, on their wedding day, the rescue squad came. Seems the groom fell and the bride couldn't get him up out of the floor. What a honeymoon. 

Little romances pop up from time to time. Guess that's bound to happen. But, they soon fizzle out. Men want someone to take care of them. 

Women want their independence. Usually the women win. 

A new couple moved in recently. Our first homosexual couple, at least as far as I know. I mean, I have only been here five years.. who knows what went on before I got here. 

We've seen people move in that needed to be in a nursing home. And, yet we have a large number who are up and out of here early headed to work. 

We'll notice an apartment empty.. that person went home to the Lord. And, sometimes they just move out of here and in with their children. I don't know of a one who is happy when that happens but you do what you have to. 

I think about when I will have to leave here. Will I move to a nursing home, to my home in the sky or in with one of my kids... whoa, wait a minute. That's not on my list. And I wonder about a nursing home. Will fights break out, will couples fall in love, will some guy be broken-hearted 'cause his sweetie rather sleep by herself. Life has it's drama, doesn't it. No matter where you live or how long you live. 

I'll keep you posted on any new developments around our complex. I am sure something else interesting will happen soon. 

I Start A Scrapbook Journal

At the beginning of last year after I had been complaining, rather loudly and sadly, about Sunday afternoons being so hard for me two of my daughters came up with the idea that perhaps I might do some scrapbook journaling.

I already had a journal that I wasn't using.. so I jumped on that idea. I am bad to just jump in... no plan... no goal... I just start and hope it turns out well. Somewhere along the way, I find out how I want any project to be.. 

I do that with everything as you can probably tell with my blogging. No direction... just jump and hope I can swim. Perhaps that is the reason I have never had a large following. They can't figure me out. Heck, I can't even figure me out!!

Anyway, I did a first page.  At this point, I am using my art supplies. Thought I'd go that route. 

Page two is next. What will I do with that? Maybe a record of my activities of the past week. 

So, it looks pretty juvenile. Not what I had envisioned. So, I try again.  More color this time.. and I have added printed quotes. Is this the path I want for my new venture? Still not sure.

So, I put it away. Maybe by the following Sunday afternoon I will have a more clear vision of what I want this to look like. 

I will continue with my scrapbooking journey from time to time... I know you won't want to miss that. (he he) 

If you are alone, do you struggle with days that are lonely?

We all have to pull ourselves 'up by the bootstrap' so to speak, and put a little joy into our lives, create something that sparks a new or renewed interest. 

If people aren't around... make your own little world.

Loneliness leads to depression.

We can't have that!

So, start a scrapbook journal, or paint or write or go for a walk. 

Just do something to continue living the best life that you can. 

Sunday Afternoon Chocolate Cake

I got a real hankering for something sweet this afternoon. Are you like that? Got a sweet tooth? I have for some things. And, it may change from time to time.

Today I was craving chocolate cake! You just don't go to the store and buy a cake... not for one person. But, guess what I found? 

Duncan Hines has a "Perfect Size"

Yep, found it on the store shelf one day and I got a box of the chocolate mix and the cheesecake one, too. Just a tiny 6 inch pan inside, a pouch of cake mix and also a pouch of frosting mix. 

So, I mixed me up some batter. Smoothed it out in that tiny pan. It felt like I was playing house. 

After it baked and cooled, I spread some icing on top of the layer. I have to confess... that pouch of frosting mix is still unopened. 

I had a can of store-bought frosting. Did you know they make cans of frosting half the size of the regular ones? Who knew?

Just perfect. I sprinkled some pecan pieces on top, poured me a glass of milk and I told my sweet tooth... I am taking care of you! Right now. 

Another confession... I had two pieces. 

Cooking For One

It's just the pits cooking for one. Have you ever noticed that?

I have no training in being a chef for a single person.. well, to tell the truth, cooking was never my strong suite. But, I managed to feed six of us and none of us ever went hungry.

I hate messing up the kitchen to make one meal for one person. When I make a mess, there is no one else to clean it up!😝

There are ways to get around that. Grocery stores carry food now geared for the smaller family or even individuals. I stock up on some of that.

The best thing EVER is having it already cooked and delivered right to your door. Now, that's my kind of "cooking".

I've ordered from Swann's for a few years now. All their stuff is frozen and it's very good. AND ... they have already cooked products, too. Just warm it up and gobble it down. I am afraid I've done too much "gobbling" in my day but I figure at my age it isn't going to make a whole ton of difference what I eat. Might as well enjoy my "older" age.

Then there is the Uber delivery.

What? Yep... you just call a participating store or restaurant, tell them what you want... and doggone it, if they don't call up an Uber driver. He/she sticks what you've ordered in the back seat of their car, drives to your house and there you have it... a nice warm dinner. What's this world coming to? You can even do it online.

I am loving it. So, cooking for one has sort of turned into ordering for one. Oh, I still do a bit of cooking. Nothing beats home cooked veggies, fresh sliced home-grown tomatoes. I will get in the kitchen when I get a hankering for stuff like that.

How many do you cook for?

Be sure to leave me a comment, let me know the number, what your favorite food is or do you order out? I would love to hear from you.