In an effort to spark some Christmas cheer for the two of us, my son Michael turned on some Christmas music. It was nice for awhile. He had some errands to run so I sat here alone, reading a James Patterson book with the music in the background.
And, there came Bing C. with the 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' and I could just hear my funny husband mimicing Bing and I just got up and hit the off button. It hurts, I think this year more than ever... His being gone, I mean. It's been a rough year anyway and there's milestones coming up... our wedding anniversary and right after Christmas, the 10th anniversary of his passing. I suppose I am just very nostalgic right now.
You widows out there, do you have triggers that set you off? drag you down? We just won't ever forget and I guess we will never quit hurting.
And,, you with your spouses still by your side. Enjoy every second of every minute, of every hour of every day. When it's gone... it's gone.
I don't mean to be a 'downer' today. Just sharing some pain I am feeling. The sun will come out tomorrow, or so Orphan Annie says!
Thanks, Lantane... for reminding us that those of us who still have our hubbies how lucky we are and how we should enjoy this time we have left. I can't imagine how you must feel, but if Michael is your son, I'm sure having him there right now is a comfort.
ReplyDeleteOh there are many triggers. Sometimes I think of it as being similar to this sore elbow of mine. If I don't touch it, I am fine. Then sometimes I need a good cry and I can move on. That we feel lost and lonely without our spouses tells us how much they were loved. One thing is sure, Latane, your Beloved wants you to be happy and enjoying your life. If John saw me moping about some days, he'd tell me to "knock it off." 😏 I'm very glad that he has been happily home for these four plus years. Hope that you will chat with your son about this because he probably knows you so well that he has some good insights and suggestions. Other than that, we can always ask God for comfort. 🕊
ReplyDeleteI relate to you. My husband died 4 years ago, 9 days before our 45th wedding anniversary and a few days before Thanksgiving. The holidays were a daze for my sons and I. I adopted a dog at the shelter 12 days after my hubby's death and the dog is a faithful companion. Holidays can be hard. Your loved one wants you to be happy!
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