What a week!

 That book is eating me alive. No, not really but it surely does eat up a lot of my time and thought. I'll be so glad when it's finished and published but I am just now getting to the good part. So, it's type, edit, type, erase, put new stuff in, take stuff out, type some more. I tell you, it's a job. 

The workers finally finished putting down the new sidewalk so that awful racket stopped. It really looks nice. So, it was worth it. 

I got in the dumps last week, didn't want to do a thing, was more unsteady on my feet and believe you me, that's not good. I am scared to death of falling but I didn't thank goodness. I had night leg cramps and then diarrhea. Gee, guess that was too much info. But, I then remembered that I had not been taking in much fluid so I most likely was dehydrated. My sweet granddaughter shipped me some electrolite powder to make sure I am well taken care of. It's better than gatorade. 

My youngest grandson, Tighe, is starting his freshman year at Indianna University this week. The family helped him settle in. Mama's sure gonna miss him. They are so close and he's such a great kid. 

I did take some time out one day to do a line and wash watercolor. I just don't have the time I'd like to be able to paint. I don't ordinarily do line and wash but I do enjoy it when the notion strikes me. 

Making Our Life's Music

 This is a post I did for a facebook group that I head up 'Accidently Aging. Women Living Their Best Lives' 

 I feel that women have been muchly ignored over the years and we are slowly making our mark in this world. So, I started that group. If you are interested and are on Facebook you might want to check it out, join the group or just ignore it. No big deal. We do what's best for us, right?

Now, here's the post: 

A number of us just sit around waiting for life to happen. How sad is that? We should all be active in making the plans and then executing those plans to make our lives the very best that they can be.

There is a quote by Mark Nepo that I think addresses this problem very well. I liked it so well it is now jotted down in my "Quote Journal".

"The life of every soul waits like sheet music to be played. What good are we if that music is never played." (Mark Nepo)

Priceless advice. Tune your violin, pick up the bow and make the music of your life.

A Perfect Life

 This journey that I've been on to find ME has been so interesting. And, I'm still finding out something new about myself every day! I'm loving it.

On April 10th I posted something about the woman that is my "life coach". She comes once a month and always has a 'project' for us to tackle. The latest one was this:

During the night a miracle happened... you awoke to find that you were living your PERFECT LIFE.. What would that life look like? 

Well, now, that was mind-provoking. You'd think I would say something like, I'd be healthy, rich, traveling, eating at fancy restaurants, have a perfect family and staff so I didn't have to do anything. HA HA. 

Here is what I said:

1. I would never get cancer again. I mean, I've had it twice already. Isn't that enough! There is always a niggling in my head saying, 'suppose you do'. 

2. I'd know that the lives of my children were as good as it could  be. There's some changes that need to happen there.

3. I would never again feel guilt in saying the word, NO.  I wish I'd learned that years ago.

4. I'd be an elegant lady with perfect manners and have a real sense of fashion. I always feel like I am not put together very well. 

5. I'd find out I just won the lottery. I'd hire an assistant and the two of us would travel to all those places I've always wanted to go. 

Here's the thing. If you'd like to play along, I hope you will post your perfect life in the comment section. That will be some fun reading!

Goals For 2026

Well folks, it's time to start thinking about making New Year's resolutions! 

Geez, I dislike that phrase! Resolutions? They are made and then promptly forgotten. 

                            I say we ''Set Goals" instead.

Goals keep us focused, on task, and gives us such satisfaction at their completion.

                             Here's my Goals for 2026

1. Finish that book I am writing and get it published. I'm about half-way through when I just quit! So onward, I go!

2. Exercise more. I've never liked exercise but I know I need it now more than ever. So, onward I go with that goal as well.

3. Learn something new each week. Anything from a new word to a new skill. Learning keeps us young and connected. 

4. Finish reading the Bible from cover to cover. I am almost there.

                            What are your Goals For 2026? 

The Melting Ice Cube of Life

 As the weeks, months, years go by I can't help to notice the changes that are being made in my life. That's ok. I am not complaining but I do think about this aging process and how it will all end up. 

The other day I made up a little story about how I was feeling. I told my baby daughter... she understood, supported, listened. Same with my son but when I told this story to my daughter Shirley along with 2 of our friends, she and one of the friends just didn't get it... sort of made fun of me. 

So, I decided I'd tell my little story to you and see what kind of reaction I get from you. 

It was a cloudy winter day and a bird was flying high in the sky. He had an ice cube in his talons and suddenly he dropped the ice cube and it fell down to the ground. It landed on the sidewalk.

It was cold so the ice cube just sat there .... for a long, long time. Just being what it was meant to be. 

Then the weather got warmer. The ice cube started to sweat just a little around it's top. After awhile some trickles of water slid down it's sides and after some time puddles began to form on the sidewalk around her. 

She realized that she was smaller, still an ice cube but part of her was not with her anymore so she felt sad. The puddles grew larger and larger as the sun shone brighter and brighter. She knew that one of these days she would only be a puddle.

I am that ice cube. Being dropped from that bird was my birth into this world and I spent years sitting on that sidewalk being me. Now, I see myself diminishing, sweating away lifes time, trickles begin forming around me and I am growing smaller and smaller. 

I thought is was a great analogy but evidently my daughter couldn't see the picture. It is rather nutty, isn't it. But, that was how I was feeling and I am entitled to that. Right? 

Living Our Best Lives

 Yesterday set the mood...

Shirley and I attended a performance of 'The Nutcracker' at our local art center. Local talent, all but the sugar plum fairy, whom they imported. haha

It was such a delightful event. I hadn't seen that dance since my granddaughter danced in a performance how many years ago!! She has a grown son now so it was awhile. 

A little 5 year old sat next to me. The place was sold out so Mommy had to sit just behind her. She was quite nervous about it all to begin with and then that child got so caught up in all the excitement of the Nutcracker and the little mice and so on. Pretty soon her body was pressed up against my arm. It did my soul good to see all of that through a child's eye again. I loved it. 

So, on to other things. 

My college football team (Alabama) played like junior high kids on Saturday and lost the SEC championship. I turned off the tv at halftime. So, here's  what I did instead.....

I'm pretty old. And, I have had a pretty good attitude about growing old,  I think. I have spent some time over the last years discovering who I was and what I was supposed to do with these last remaining years. I regularly get comments from others that I inspire them. I don't know about that. I am just being me but it has been a dream of mine to set an example for  others. And to leave a legacy for my children and grandchildren. 

I see so many older ones that just sit around waiting to die, no interest in anything, constantly complaning about everything, making themselves and everyone around them miserable. I decided a while ago that I was not going to be that person, nor was I going to be around people who are constantly negative. 

So, on Saturday afternoon instead of watching my football team lose a game, I set up a facebook group for us older women. It's open to anyone of a 'certain age'. I have 20 members so far and I hope it grows. I want us women to be there for each other, to support each other

My blog is so dear to my heart. I have made so many wonderful friends here and sure want to keep them close to me forever. I won't give that up but, I just wanted to do something a little different as well as keeping my blog going.  This woman must have tooooo much time on her hands. haha

If you are interested in joining, go to facebook and look us up. We'd love to have you. 

On A Journey of Self-Discovery

 Personally I have never been a fan of  'long-winded' blog posts. And, here I am doing one. But, please bear with me. This is just on my heart to share this with you all.

I was a shy, awkward country girl who never seem to fit in at school, no friends near where I lived. My self-esteem was pretty low. 

By the time I was 17 I was a new bride, a new mom at 18. And, so I took on those roles of Mother and Wife when I was in my mid-teens. And, those are the roles I played for decades! With our busy life I had not time to concentrate on me.

When I was 65 my husband and I moved from Alabama to Virginia. A couple years into being in our new home I met a woman who fascinated me. She was into healthy eating, connecting with nature, mediation, yoga, self-discovery. That was so new to me and I wanted to know more. I've always been a curious sort and love to learn about new things. My talks with her were so enlightening. 

My first self-help book I ordered was 'Who Will Cry When I Die' by Robin Sharma. I quickly became a follower of his and I began to delve into who I really was. I felt that there was more to this individual walking around in my shoes than just wife and mother. By this time my kids were all grown and I was the full-time caregiver for my husband who had Alzheimers. 

Who was this person that my Mother had given birth to. I wanted to find out. So, I set out on a self-discovery journey of my own. 

I read lots of books, most of which were 'crap' (excuse the expression) but I have found a few that has opened my mind, my heart and my soul that made me dig down and bring up all those old fears, wounds, scars that I had shoved so deep inside me over the years. I began to discover a sense of peace, of calm, of truth and being authentic. Oh, I'm not there yet but I know more of who I was meant to be, of who I can be, of peace and happiness and just a sense of being alive than I have ever felt. 

Some of my problem was not knowing that we all are capable and should set boundaries for ourselves.  When I discovered that I could request ... no, demand.... boundaries, wow, that gave me such a sense of freedom to be me. I've learned to be more open to forgiveness, to even forgive myself and especially those who have hurt me. This life is too short to  hold those wounds as sacred evidences of past wrongs. 

I'm working hard on that low self-esteem and it is a work in progress. I've had a great life, I've done a ton of things in those years, but I feel like I wasn't worthy or good enough so it always felt like it was someone else who did all that stuff, who travels all those miles, who held weeping mothers in my arms in MADD, who served on committes, who wrote books, and painted and quilted and so much more. BTW... singing is not on that list. 

'The Artist's Way' is a favorite book, so is 'Original Me' and now I am reading 'The Awakening'. All exellent sources to guide us to a better place in our lives. I also really enjoyed 'Women Rowing North'.

I encourage you to find your own path, your own self. You may be wonderfully surprised. 

And, I end with this... With an open heart I embrace each and every one of my blogging buddies. You are such a blessing to me. Love you. 

A Sad Thought

 

Yes, it's the first day of Fall. We always said Fall but I love saying Autumn. Sounds more lyrical, I guess. 

However you say it just enjoy each golden day. Too soon the cold winds of Winter will be whistling down our chimneys. You know what I mean... I don't even have a chimney! haha

I made a lemon cake the other day. It's been years since I made a cake! And, this one was done in my toaster oven. 

Lemon.... that sounds more summery but I saw the recipe and made it for Michael's birthday recently. It was good.

But, I am trying hard to get sugar outta my life. Lordy, that's hard. Not only sugar but fried foods and a bunch of other stuff that's not good for you. 

Are you on a search for healthier eating?

Got any fav recipes you'd like to share?

On to a sadder subject

I had never really paid attention to the name Charlie Kirk until he was killed. Guess I live under a rock, cause there were a ton of people who knew and loved him.

However, his passing affected me deeply. I spent all yesterday afternoon watching his memorial on tv. And, I cried for Erica and those little kids.

I think the reason why it hurt so much was that Charlie was the same age as my Dad when he got killed (by lightening).

My Dad left a wife he loved beyond anything, a daughter age 8 and me (I was still in my Mother's womb) 

I know what those little kids will go through... not having a Dad. 

The older I get, the more I miss mine. 

I just pray that all the violence against those who think differently than you will stop. 

A Great 'Sunday Morning'

 As usual, on a Sunday Morning, I tuned into CBS's 'Sunday Morning'.

In the world of television with all it's various opinions, reality shows which are NOTreality at all and the stupid sit-coms, 'Sunday Morning' is a breath of fresh air. 

I really miss Charles Karault but Jane Pauley is 'growing on me'. 

I learn so many interesting things by watching that show. it's just good, basic facts which is rare to find these days.

Take that Silicon Valley exec who had a stroke. It left him mute and paralysized from neck down. Most people would just give up. But, this guy is playing cards, writing song lyrics and connecting with his grandchildren all through robotics. Amazing!

And, the strange little buildings in southern Italy with roofs made of layered stone (nothing holding the stones in place). Well, I wouldn't want to go inside (it might cave in) but what a unique idea. I wonder why they started building them like that... 

We lived in Hawaii for a short period of time. And, I left there with a plumeria lei around my neck. I found out on ;Sunday Morning' that due to farm land in Hawaii being gobbled up with urban sprawl and the environment changes, Hawaii has a shortage of blossoms to produce those beautiful leis. As things do, that craft is evolving into using more stable items such as shells, bark etc. instead of the flowers. A way of life is disappearing there as everywhere else. 

I wonder if you are still curious about the world, if you still love to learn things and too, if you are concerned about the amount of false information we are being exposed to? 

I don't think we should ever stop being like a child, with open eyes, open heart and open mind. 

a Trip To The ER

                        

              What's with getting to see a doctor these days? 

I mean, I have a GP I love but if I have something come up that I need attention to, I get sent to the Emergency Room! Seems the only time I see my GP (general practicener)n anymore is on scheduled wellness visits. 

I've been having some issues (we don't have to discuss which ones (grin). It started with the gall bladder attack and progressed further down, if you know what I mean. I called for an appt. to my gastroentologist and it's mid October before I can see her. So, that's when I called the GP.... 

Now, I am not a big fan of Emergency Rooms. So, I was resisting going big time... 

Enter my daughter, Shirley... Came down for lunch and as soon as she heard me whining about the doctor situation, she said 'Get your things. We are going to the ER.' and so we did.

After numerous tests it turns out that I am very healthy (as they say, 'for my age') Don't you just hate that!! 

But, the point I want to make is this. I am very independent. May be why I am so healthy, who knows, right? But, I have taken care of people my whole life. I've gone through raising teen age sisters-in-law (twins), raising my own 4 kids, ten years of caring for my aging mother and then another ten years caring for my husband who had Alzheimers. 

And, I have been a stinker about that independent thing up until recently. As much as I try to remain independent, deep down inside me is the cry for someone to please just take care of me!

                   for listening to me whine! 

I Was Just Wondering

 I do what I call 'scrapbook journaling'. My made up name for just piddling around with thoughts put with creative designs. 

There's a lot of things I wonder about... too many to put in a book or on a blog post. However, I did like this grouping of wondering from Ralph Fletcher (whomever that might be) that I found and added it to my book.

The first two really caught my eye.. Yes, why did God make some birds fly while other's never get off the ground? And, aren't you supposed to cry when you are sad, not happy? Of course, I do both as do most people but it's just curious, that's all. 

I have wondered how do they put concrete down in deep wateer and anchor it to build a tunnel for millions of cars to pass through? How do the workers not drown? And, who in the world ever thought of doing that in the first place. 

What do you wonder about? 

And, I love the one about fashion and who makes decisions about whether certain things are fashionable or not. Reminds me of something I read.... which brings me to my

                           QUOTE

"The head monkey at Paris puts on a travelers cap and all the monkeys in America do the same"

                                                                                             Henry David Thoreau

The Difference Between Solitude and Loneliness!

My daughter Shirley is a people person!

She has to have daily contact, lots of chatting, going places, doing things. She wears me out! haha

Me.... I tend to be a loner!

I can spend days all by myself just having a grand ole time. 

So, of course, she's always encouraging me to get out, go to lunch with friends etc. And, I butt heads with her telling her I am fine! 

So, I wrote down my thoughts of the difference in our personalities, our needs, the way we see our lives. Here it is. 

 "There's a difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness is a part of you that needs people around you, somewhere to go, noise, activity. When you don't have that, you feel deserted. Solitude is being ok to be alone. It's being comfortable in your own skin, being your own best friend, knowing that you are good enough - all by yourself." (WLBarton)

The Past, The Present, The Future.

 For several years now I have been interested in 'self-help' books on how to improve myself and my life. I was so taken by many quotes from all these books so I started handwriting them into a notebook. And, I started adding my own 'quotes' (thoughts of mine on different subjects, as well).

I often pick up that notebook, read a few pages, just to reset, get my focus back in line with what I want out of life and I find it very calming. I do use some of those quotes in my blog and instagram posts. 

Several months ago I read 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho. I wondered at great length about this quote: "Because I don't live in either my past or my future, I'm interested only in the present."

I got to thinking of what it might mean. How do we not live in the past? That's where our footsteps have already taken us. I don't see living in the future for we know not whether we will have a future. The past, though, is where our memories are (good and bad) and those events shaped us into who we are today.

                                     What are your thoughts on this?

Age is Wisdom

 I am finding that slowly but surely, the way the 'older' generation is perceived is changing. There was such a stigma attached to being OLD. If you had aquired some age on you, you were thought of as being frail, sickly, a burden, useless. You pretty much became invisible. As Mary Pipher says in her book, 'Women Rowing North' .... "I'm invisible now. I could take off all my clothes and walk through the courthouse and I'm not sure anyone would notice."  If they did notice, they'd probably think we were crazy as loons. 

However, the tide is turning. Old people are making their lives and their wisdom known. And, they aren't afraid of admitting their age. In fact they are proud of it. Take William Shatner who took to space at the ripe old age of  90. I can't imagine myself at 90 taking off into space but I really respect Shatner for doing it. What about Gladys Burrel who completed a marathon at age 92. And, Jamie Lee Curtis, bless her heart for being her true self. She knows who she is and she flaunts it. She's 65. 

I know that I am proud of every single moment of the entire 90 years I have lived. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. And, I am proud that I still am learning and growing and I will continue to do so until my last breath. As our bodies grow old, we must both care for our aging bodies and teach people to care about us. 

My Going-Away Box

Well, I up and did it!  I opened my mouth when I should have kept it shut! 😐

I'd just read a book written by a hospice nurse so when I ran into a couple of residents chatting about dying my interest was peaked. And, I ended up offering to conduct a meeting about 'That Next Step' that we all will take one of these days.

It was on Monday night, a small crowd. I already knew quite a bit and I had spent a couple weeks researching online for more information. The meeting lasted an hour and a half and I was complimented and thanked afterwards. I had given them something to think about, new things to set into motion. 

                And, I had taken my 'Going Away' file box to show them. 

This box holds all my original certificates, notes on my wishes for, say, my funeral, my care before I die. There's a handwritten letter to each of my children that they can open after I am gone. Even the passwords to my online accounts. My will, Durable Power of Attorney, Medical Attorney and Advance Directive (Living Will) are all in there, as well. 

And, my children won't have the heart-breaking task of trying to find where I stashed stuff. It's all in one place. 

I felt really good about what I had done, maybe the little help I had given others. I've always been involved in organizations and clubs who have a purpose, who lend a helping hand'. So, it was pretty neat putting 'that hat' back on for a brief period of time.

Do you have your affairs in order? I am talking to you younger gals, too. We are not promised tomorrow. Anything can happen. 

I can't imagine a loved one scrambling around in the back of a closet, looking for an old shoebox that might have the house deed in it, or your cemetery plot deed. And, to make decisions instead of you having done that for your children already! 

What a gift. 

 

My Heart is Heavy

 

This Sunday morning I want to take time to send my love, prayers and support to all those people affected by Hurricane Helene

We have hurricanes... we expect damage on the coast... but never, in a million years did we expect the devastation a hurricane caused in the mountains of North Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia and Virginia. They certainly never thought something like that would take their lives, their homes, their way of life. Floods of that nature just don't happen high in the mountains. 

I am heartbroken by all the images flooding the tv, internet etc. It really is beyond my comprehension. A lot of families lost loved ones and no amount of words or comfort can heal the hole in their hearts. 

I probably have acquaintances affected by this storm. There are ones I wonder about. I do know that my niece living in Greene County, Tennessee posted she was so thankful to be able to go to a relatives house to get a shower and wash her hair. Her home was not damaged but the entire county has no  water. 

Things like entire highways being impassable, I40 shut down and will be for years probably. The Blue-Ridge Parkway closed in definately. Oh how beautiful a drive that was! The Appalahian Trail damaged so badly it will take years to recover. Hearing that made me wonder if hikers were lost. That Trail always has hikers on it. 

So, let us all be thankful for the souls saved, hold in our hearts those who lost their lives and do what we can to help out.  

My 'Going Away' Box

 

I seem stuck in a rut lately. My creative juices have all leaked out. 

Let's see....

I need to think about this for a bit....

I could tell you that I have been busy preparing for a 'What's Next' program for the residents here at my apartment complex. 

What's Next? you ask.. We all are getting older and some of us were discussing dying and getting ready to die. 

I know, morbid, wasn't it? But, if we don't recognize the reality of life, we can't enjoy it. We have to take the bad with the good. If you have breathed your first breath, you WILL breath your last. 

I had just seen a program about how a young wife had chronicled her last days on the internet and how it had helped her and her new husband to deal with things. Yes, we do need to talk about it.

I hear the clock ticking every day. So, I ordered a couple of books and decided I'd share what little I know with the other residents. 

I have a 'going away' file box. It's filled with all the documents my children will need once I am gone. And, there's more to getting your ducks in a row than you think. 

Can you imagine your grieving children having to all of a sudden start going through drawers, closets, safe deposit boxes trying to find things like your birth certificate, your house deed, your cemetery papers etc, etc, etc. I believe in having all that in one place so they won't have to go through all of that trauma. 

And, I am also going to talk about how we want to spend our remaining years... and geez, I hope it's a big number!! 

Would you want to be resusitated? A feeding tube? would you want Hospice so you could probably stay at home? Your family needs to know these things.

How about whether you want to be buried or cremated. Do you have a favorite song you'd want to be sung at the funeral? Maybe certain facts put in your obit. All this needs to be in that 'going away' box. 

Oh, you say, I have all of that in the safe deposit box at the bank. Well, guess what! If you are the only one on your account when you are gone, the bank freezes your assets and your children can't get to what they need. 

Oh, I could go on and on but I won't bore you or 'scare you half to death'. But, we are not guaranteed one more second of life... just because you are young doesn't mean you'll be here 'forever'. I can't believe that I am edging on toward my 91st birthday. Yes, I do hear that clock ticking! I am one of the oldest residents here at our 55+ complex. And, I am in better shape than most of them. I'm not saying that to brag but to be surprised, amazed, it's unbelievable. 

And, through preparing for this 'session' I will be presenting to the residents on the 14th, I am feeling more comfortable with the thought of going away. I feel like I am in control of how my life will play out to the end. That feels good. 

We Must Never Forget

 

Oftentimes we move on, get busy with life...

but there is one day in our lives that we will remember forever! 

                                                                         Sept 11, 2001

As that morning evolved, we all stopped in our tracks and stared at the television. Surely this was not happening. Not in OUR country. 

But, it was. 

How it affected each of us is different but it left it's indelibile mark on our lives, nontheless. That scar will never heal. 

                                                                        Do Not Ever Forget

Moving Forward

 

If you read my last post you know I was 'in a mood'. Your concern and remarks were so helpful and appreciated

And, then I ran across this! 

So, I got myself up, dressed up and met my daughter and son-in-law for lunch. 

I'm moving forward! 

Trips At This Age?

 I've been struggling since my return from New York.  I know at some point in my aging journey that I would have to curtail some traveling. It may be closer than I think. 

This trip really took the 'starch' outta me! 

I've been home almost a week and I am just not bouncing back, have little energy, feel weak. I did drive 4 blocks to Bojangles to get me some drive-through breakfast and I just didn't feel comfortable behind the wheel. Dang, this sucks! 

I have such a great time with my kids and grands. I would hate giving up some of my time with them. They all are so busy with their own lives, kids, jobs, etc. that it is easier for me to get away since I don't have those responsibilites.

I guess what I am asking this morning is... have any of you reached this point in your life yet? If so, how did you handle it. 

Now, for more on my trip.  There were lots of scrabble going on! 

Ranger and I spent time on the patio

Loved going to lunch with my daughter 

I rested

and much more! It was a wonderful visit!